Extracting a promise to not engage in SI or SH is a recipe for disaster (and suggests a complete misunderstanding of SI and SH -- as though one can simply turn those off by force of will??). You can always go back to that dude if you do return to your current city, and if you don't return to that city, you're just delaying the inevitable. I think the chance that you can find somebody else who is more helpful at getting you where you want to be is quite high.