I agree with you, especially when the validation is essentially enabling bad behavior or worse. I think one can validate what a person is feeling without enabling them and without validating that it's okay to act out or take those feelings out on someone. I once had a mentor who sort of reprimanded me for a way I reacted about something, and it was really interesting to me because she acknowledged and understood WHY I felt the way I did about it, but that the actual action I took, sort of in a reactive way, was counterproductive. I righted my wrong behavior and checked in with others involved to discuss the matter and all was well. But I'm honestly grateful when people can kindly give me feedback about how my behavior might come across while also validating that they understand the impulse behind the behavior. As humans we can't grow unless we learn by making mistakes. But if no one will ever tell you the truth, then you will always think you're perfect (not you but you know, general "you").

I always believe in delivering this feedback with compassion and empathy when possible. We are all human and sometimes get fed up with things, so we can all deliver feedback poorly. Most of us aren't therapists but just people trying to help each other, and we make mistakes or deliver things poorly from time to time. We're human.

I really do agree with you though that it's one thing to validate how someone feels; it's another entirely to validate and enable actual behaviors that harm themselves or others.