Quote:
Originally Posted by DarrenPH
Is this an issue with lack of motivation on what you need to do, like bathing, getting dressed, eating? If so you need to see a doctor. If it's motivation for stuff that you need to do like household chores then I would suggest you make a list of all the things you need to do but don't want to, delegate what you can and then try to figure out if there's anything you can add to the experience to make it more pleasurable, that way you will need very little motivation to do it.
Let me give you an example, I don't like cooking too much and I hate cleaning but when I'm in the kitchen I put on a good audio book to listen to and I really enjoy it.
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For me it's the former, like I can't do what I absolutely need done. Only like absolute last minute and am getting burned out over that. And no, antidepressants did not help. SSRIs make me even less motivated. Wellbutrin did not give me motivation for long enough before someone else ****ed it up for me... I've processed through those earlier emotional issues by now that would cause that but there is still one big motivation problem I just realised, I REALLY need some help to come out of my head every morning and not feel like I DON'T EXIST to anyone, which is WHY I don't have the motivation in the first place. I had very bad emotional abuse/blocks in the way but those are gone now thankgod, but I still have this one major issue. Any idea on this one? Because the doctors couldn't help and all I REALLY want is someone to keep me in mind during the day for a few months. Like regularly check in with me if I EXIST, if I'm doing ANYTHING at all, and then I would be able to do that "anything", whatever needs done. I'm able to get dressed on better days but the rest uhhhhhhhh
Also I moved to my mom's place a couple of months ago because this got so bad that I was no longer able to feed myself, like I just didn't care to eat anymore when living on my own. At least that part is okay now. I mean the eating is okay now. Showering was never a problem though.
And yes I've been seeing therapists and I've been seeing an LCSW in a programme for over 2.5 years now and they couldn't be bothered with this issue enough, only lukewarm attempts.....But I was also busy processing the emotional abuse anyway. So that's out of the way enough by now... But I NEED to get this solved before I completely BURN OUT over this. It's crazy neverending bootcamp trying to pull myself out of this on my own and I have to admit it's impossible doing it alone on my own.
For more context I'm tryin to do online work remotely and I'm alone all day, my mother and her husband are off doing whatever other things (in the same apartment but they are really busy with their own things and my mother doesn't understand why I ask her to come in to my room and talk to me like every x minutes so I can stay outside my head and do things. So we never tried because she just plain doesn't understand even though she is well-meaning otherwise)
Thanks so much for reading. I'm totally totally at my wit's end with this. I had to really work hard at it to be able to even get over the negative emotions and decide that I make myself hope one last time and reach out for help one last time on this before I just cannot go on at all with life. Not a threat, I really just cannot see myself doing anything other than vegetating in bed all day!! (While in bed perhaps living off benefits, inheritance if my family dies etc. Or plain starving myself to death if I stop caring to eat again)