...it makes sense that you describe it as a social deficit, so you're maybe are getting more fearful, envious and angry in social situations. Maybe you're less inclined to feel embarrassed or a little sad perhaps?
I agree with Open Eyes about narccisistic wounding. I learned recently about healthy shame. I was excessively shamed as a child, and for a long time felt almost constant shame/embarrassment as I was super sensitive to it, but it can easily go the other way...that you can switch off from it. I've done that too, for short amounts of time, and got in some stupid situations, and felt all the more defensive afterwards.
I don't know if I'm right to say this, but I think it's kind of usual in friend groups to have a bit of a pecking order, and have a bit of joking at others expense...just so nobody takes themselves way too seriously! Not too much obviously...not to the point of bullying. I don't know whether your friend was mean (he maybe isn't really a friend to you), or if he was trying to make you laugh.
There's no way to know who's really a friend, if you are totally defensive, though.
If a friend said to me "stop being such a *****" and meant it... they're not someone I would open up to. I've got friends that would say way worse just to make me laught though...if I was totally morose I would just appreciate that
Have you ever done any martial arts or self defense classes?