Hi everyone,

I apologize in advance for not giving specifics for the cause of my illness as I find it extremely hard to talk about, and I also apologize for taking up everyone's time, please don't feel that you have to respond or even read further.

I am 43 and a father of two amazing children. I got divorced in February due to infidelity on my ex-wife's part and in no small measure also due to my mental health issues.

I have been struggling with cPTSD, Chronic Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder for most of my life

I managed to suppress most of my illness for a number of years, however it did not make it go away and eventually I sought therapy before it became unmanageable and detrimental to my children. During therapy I began remembering a whole lot that I thought I had packed away and a whole lot I didn't remember at all now comes flooding to the surface. My nightmares have gotten so bad that I can only manage a few hours of sleep a night and I am also having terrible flashbacks and panic attacks. I am completely overwhelmed and no longer have the strength to fight all this poison that is me.

I guess that I hoped that by coming here I would be able to find the tools and a reason to not give up. I want to be the best father that I can be and I want to be worthy of my children. Sadly I feel I shouldn't inflict myself on them and that they deserve better than me as their father and

Again I apologize for taking up you time