Thank you - I have done this countless times over the years - when they're mad about something, they refuse to speak to me other than accusing me of being horrible and abusive and a terrible parent. When they're not mad they say, oh I was just saying that because I was mad, you're actually a great parent, and I appreciate it that you always take time to listen, and you are supportive, and you are forgiving even when I act out and say mean things, etc.
So for years I tried to ask for specifics and never got an answer - and eventually I just had to cut off contact bc they were ALWAYS mad and no matter who they were mad at, the anger always came out at me, and they'd tell me how everything bad in their life was my fault, and so on. I hope someday they will be able to have some kind of a normal conversation, but for now I have to have distance from that, for what's left of my own mental health.