Made me think how when people are repeatedly abused (more than by one person) people don’t recognize abuse and mistake abuse for love, then they became attached to that abuse because it feels like love.

Like for example him holding you tight in bed and not allowing to get up until he is ready and then even sobbing when you trying to get up, might feel like love to abused person. “This is true love! He cannot be without me and he cuddles me so much because he just can’t get enough of me.”

In reality what’s he doing is abuse and control “I’ll cuddle when I want to and she must stay with me until I’ll allow her to get up”. Not love but abuse

Or now him sending his begging texts might feel “oh he is so genuine he misses me so much he is so lonely I feel so bad for him”, when in reality he is trying to break you and exerts his power and control in hopes you break down. It’s abuse, not love

So I see perhaps this trauma bonding is attaching to abuse, which you often experience as love. You aren’t attached to his good parts as much as you are attached to what you think is love, and often times (not always) it’s abuse disguised as love