Dear Trying to heal,

I admire you so much for trying to get better. That is so heroic. It is just heartbreaking that you have this terrible and crushing burden. I hope you will not do anything bad to yourself. It would be absolutely devastating to your children. I lost someone in my family and it left me scarred for life. I blamed myself for what they did. And it led me into a life of depression.

I wish I knew what to say to help you but sadly I am not a doctor or medical professional. If things keep getting worse, please call a crisis hotline or go to a hospital emergency department. None of us here would want you to be lost. I feel just terrible that I don't know what to say to help you. Hopefully others here with more knowledge, experience, insight and wisdom will see your post and respond to it with better words than my poor words.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen