Hi @Tryingtoheal , thank you for posting. I am really wishing for your suffering to ease, and hoping and praying for your healing. Don't try too hard...one thing at a time. Your healing is a great thing for the world, and the only thing that you need to do for anyone right now, is to keep breathing and asking for help.
I would ask god, if that's not your thing, ask anyone. Samaritans are always happy to offer reassurance 116 123 .
You deserve help to heal. I bet you are doing more right that you even realise. What have you done today (whenever you read this, if you feel like posting)?

I'm sure you can find your self, and find your path, given time