It seems to me that your therapist has indicated some odd things. I thought just about everybody knew by now that people don't have SI "to get attention."
I definitely believe you need to talk with your T about some accusations she's made and how it's affected you. Maybe one or the other of you are misunderstanding. It's important for both of you to be in sync. Otherwise there are bound to be misunderstandings. For example, if you want/need to discuss SI, she needs to make herself available to hear you.