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Rive1976
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Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
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Default Dec 07, 2020 at 08:41 PM
 
As you may know I was diagnosed DID by two therapists. The only one that matters to me has taken it away. I reluctantly told my pdoc about the chatter in my head and he thinks I have depersonalization. I have felt emotionally numb for a very long time, I sometimes believe I may be dead when I am not. I just think hmm thats a possibility, I let it go and it comes back every now and then. Caffeine makes the chatter worse. I always have thoughts like Am I going crazy? What if this is schizophrenia (I've been told it isn't by my therapist and pdoc) I dont dissociate except on rare occasion in therapy if I'm triggered. I never have amnesia which is why DID was taken back. I think a lot about what these thoughts (chatter) mean. They dont have a voices quality to them just feel like thats not from me. I think a lot about where they come from. I never feel like I'm in a dream, my body is not me or I'm looking through a fog etc. So how can he even suggest that diagnosis? Internet self tests say that I dont have that disorder at all. Not that I am low risk but not at all. Im getting so tired of people guessing with me. They went to school for this stuff. They say everyone is different so its not like there is a textbook. I get it, but I'm tired. I thought about changing therapists but this isn't even a therapist. Its a psychiatric nurse practioner who prescribes me meds.
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