All I can suggest is working on yourself, meaning proper meds and therapy, to help ensure that your mania never goes that haywire again.
I had the worst (by far) manic episode I've ever had in Nov. 2018. My daughter and I had always been very close, but I said some awful things to her when I was in that mania. Nope, in no way did I mean the things I said...they were not my "true self", what I said was nuts. Plain and simple. But she was devastated.
She has refused to communicate with me for 2 years due to that episode. My heart is shattered. So I am working my arse off to avoid another destructive episode like that one was. I'm excruciatingly aware that sometimes we don't get a second chance.
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