Quote:
Originally Posted by ann bog
The only thing to do is work on yourself. If you feel ashamed of something that has happened, move on and try not let a repeat of those behaviors happen again. Love yourself and you will become more lovable.
It is likely that those negative thoughts about your relationship were skewed by how you were feeling that day. Don’t let those kind of thoughts take over because they are contagious. It’s okay to reflect on the past but try not to focus on the bad. Be in control of your life and you will attract good energy.
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I’ve been doing a little of both... but working on me is a challenge right now since I’m still going through this depression. I feel like it’s gotten a little better but it’s honestly hard to tell. I don’t focus on the past but my husband brought it up yesterday and started telling me everything I did to hurt him. I tried to tell him he’s told me it before but he almost shut down and said never mind. So I told him to tell me and he finally did. That’s when he also told me that he doesn’t know how to let it go and he feels like we are more like friends now. It breaks my heart because I know I hurt him and two I’m not sure if we can repair our marriage.... during the mania I filed for divorce but cancelled it when I started going through the depression. I know I confused him a lot and I know he’s scared. I just don’t know what to do to reassure him. But I also know I could go manic again and there are no guarantees with me.... it’s sad because if I had not turned on him I know he would have always been there for me with this stupid disorder. Now I’m stuck with awful consequences..... so ya it’s hard to work on myself when I’m still suffering and blaming myself for what happened... I didn’t even want to acknowledge it was a possibility that I had BD even though my mom has it. I even told them that BD doesn’t exist..... can people possibly let it go when we harm them with words or actions?