Hey all. I am really bad at noticing nuances of feelings so I can mislabel them and I don't know anyway what I do with the feeling after labelling. And that may be simply due to mislabelling. Or due to never dealing with that particular feeling before. But I decided I want to give this a stronger attempt. I have a feeling that is negative, gets in the way of me doing tasks, especially if it requires a little mental effort, e.g. work tasks. I thought maybe I was bored with the task though somewhere that didn't totally make sense...because I usually like to do things well-done. And then I noticed that I do actually enjoy to engage with the task intellectually wehn I am actually focusing on the task itself. I had no idea I was not directly focusing on the task when I feel this bad feeling. But it seems like I am not. When I feel this bad feeling it gets in the way, I'm not able to continue with the task for long. And maybe that is because I cannot process the feeling because I don't even know what it is. I have no thoughts about it other than "run away I don't want this feeling, I wanna avoid bc I'm sick of it". So because I do not perceive that it is actually NOT about the task, I want to run away from the task and everything else during the day. I have it less at night.


So what it is not:


- it is not a feeling of boredom about the task
- it is not a feeling of overwhelm about the task (though I can get eventually overwhelmed trying to control or block out the emotions, this one and other bad ones and then the task does feel overwhelming but it's really just me not dealing with the emotions)

What it likely is not but is the only things I could think of:

- somewhat like a feeling of "self-sabotaging" but I don't think it is that.
- somewhat like a feeling of "sulking" but I don't think it is that.

I have no idea what it is. I do have a lot of bad moods in general.

Can someone engage with me walking me through this identification of the feeling step by step? Like ask me questions or give me tips for narrowing it down.

Thanks so much.