So I'm paranoid, alone and want to SH. I can do this with out resorting to SH. Today has thrown me off so much. I'm trying to be okay. I'm acting okay. I just want everything to go away. I don't know if I'm depressed or what. Next week is the first time I talk to my T and she's going to ask me how I've been and I don't know how to answer. Is all over the place an acceptable answer? I FEEL fine but know I'm not. I can't SH they may hospitalize me if I do. This is so hard.