I am 34, no kids ,recently separated after a long period of conflict about whether or not to end the marriage.

Ours was an arranged marriage. We both had several things in common .We both have/had tremendous respect for each other and never really got into any major fights .We helped each other out in any given situation.

He was completely into me. But I failed to feel any connection with him or attraction towards him. there absolutely was no physical intimacy between us. I tried for years, took therapy, advice from friends etc. Nothing worked.I just felt so guilty and suffocated all the time!

I was scared to leave because I didn't want to be lonely. I couldn't convince myself to give up on what little I had with him.

My parents, therapists and friends everyone leaned towards me separating for my own good. But at the end of the day, it was my decision to make. One day, years later I decided to bite the bullet than stay confused at the fork unable to choose .I decided to separate

Its been more than 3 months now. And I feel like my life has considerably worsened.

I dread coming back to my lonely apartment from work. I have no family around and I am in a new place /new job so really, dont have any friends.I dont know what to do with all the free time. My parents call and check on me but that is about it.

Does this feeling of despair get better or worse with time ?

I feel like I have no energy or interest left to do anything. Like I used up my fuel in the conflict and decision making, that I have none left anymore.

How do I make new friends? Everyone/anyone who is of my age is busy in their lives with their kids and spouses.

Any insight is welcome.