My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar Check-In Thread #53

Moose72 · Dec 09, 2020, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Well, if I'm depressed I definitely want to get better. If I'm manic...initially, I believe my own manic mind. I don't think there's anything to "get better" from. It seems to me that there's something wrong with others, not me. I feel like I have special powers and abilities - and the world is brighter and more beautiful! When things start going out of control (especially if I'm angry and fighting everybody, or I'm delusional), then I want to get better.

I've had times when I've been very angry and screamed at people and had no idea that I was manic! I don't KNOW I'm delusional when I'm delusional. I want the crazies to stop. I want the others that I'm screaming at to stop screaming at ME! It never occurs to me that they might be screamign back at my screaming. EIther way, its not good. I left a fight like that once and took my car out and drove to a drug store, calling my sister telling her

Possible trigger:

I wanted to kill myself

and so my sister asks me where I am and the police show up but I'm on the phone with my pdoc by then so when I get out of my car, two cop cars have blocked me in and the police are searching my car with flashlights. The end of that story is that they called an ambulance and my sister showed up and said she wanted to cancel the call, but they said "Nope! It' too late now. The wheels are in motion!!" (The wheels of the process not the ambulance wheels!) I ended up at the psych ER and they let me go and my sister drove me home. So yeah- you can see how things get out of control when I'm manic!