I applied for a job that had 4 phases of interviewing and was quite strenuous. During the process, some red flags were raised about the company that were significant. I shared my experiences with my parents as I went through the process. My parents are obsessed with me picking up my career again, and pushed me and pushed me. I’m 50 btw. Every time I said I didn’t want the job, they beat me down and demanded I take it. My husband and I talked. He said with the company red flags and my severe ocd and mood symptoms, he thought I should not take it. My parents no nothing about my mental illness.

I was offered the job, said yes, reflected on it, and respectfully turned it down. Here’s the crazy. My two best friends and my parents pushed me to work and didn’t listen for one second about my concerns. I couldn’t tell them I didn’t take the job. My parents will be super disappointed and one of my friends will think I’m incompetent.

I decided just not to mention the job and hope no one would bring it up. No such luck. I get daily questions. The result is that I started lying about how the job was going. This led to more lies. And more lies. I’m 3 weeks in and my guilt and anxiety is through the roof. I absolutely know this can’t go on but I can’t own up to lying. I will lose my friends and my parents will be so incredibly disappointed. I can’t stress enough how hard they pushed me and how they minimized my feelings.

Help. What do I do?