Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxanneToto
I’m wondering if it’s something to do with procrastination - basically not wanting to do something because you have a fear of failure. That’s something I read when I was having trouble getting on with a personal project I actually really enjoy when I get into it. The fear of failure I’m a little on the fence about, because it won’t actually matter a huge amount if I do “fail” at this. But, as they say, your mileage may vary.
I’m not too great at identifying feelings, either, so feel free to ignore this if you don’t think it applies to your situation.
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Thanks, any input can help with perspective.
It's not about fear of failure about the particular task, though I do have a problem with not wanting to fail with my obligations overall and wanting to be able to perform at a level that I view as the absolute minimum. Which is hard when you have a really fluctuating and almost unpredictable well-being. (I'm predictable really but when something extra comes up it all falls apart because it's a fine balance with how I am now.) I liked your post, actually, I have recently tried to tell myself that it doesn't matter even if I can't always do that absolute minimum. Actually I tried to increase my standards a few months ago and when I failed at it recently I felt like really bad I really had to fight off a feeling of failure, and it took me a full day to realise that if THAT was failure then I was constantly failing before (before I started expecting more).

Anyway YES this feeling causes me to avoid and thus procrastinate, yes. That's why it bothers me in the first place lol.
edit: I avoid it so hard because it feels so unpleasant actually and I don't know how I can manage it or process it or whatever is what makes it hard. That is why I tried to identify it.