I am sorry (((Roxanne))) and I understand what you mean by distancing because of your need to emotionally protect yourself.

When I started this thread, I wanted to find a way to respect this problem as a disease and that it is very hard for someone to climb away from and commit to living their lives sober. Yet, at the same time to also respect how loving someone or having a parent, spouse or friend with this disease affects the person living with them too. One thing I know is that I simply cannot engage with or be friends with an active alcoholic. I have truely suffered too much emotional abuse by an active alcoholic. However, when someone is finally admitting they have a problem and is committed to learning how to live their life sober and begins to actually realize how THEIR disease has hurt others, I am very supportive to that healing process.

An individual that has been in recovery and has gotten to the level where they are willing to admit the things they did that hurt others will not have a problem with reading my thread here, at least that was my hope. In fact for someone who is in recovery and helps others to also recover will agree with much that I have shared. Actually perhaps even more so because if they are trying to help someone embrace living a sober life, they do know first hand that this is no easy task. Not only that but they also learn that at times the individual they try to help ends up going back into engaging the disease, so they see the other side of the equation where caring for someone with this disease can be painful.