Session today, like every day was auto pilot. Until you asked me a question to do with how will changing from weekly to monthly change how things are worked on or something to that affect? I felt it was a question that was setting me up for something and i would have to justify changing appointments to shift monthly to weekly. This year has so ****ed me in regards to therapy. Yet again maybe for the better as i would not have to see you in person and feel all this in front of you. Sent an email explaining how your question has shaken my system not sure i expect an answer. You seem like your wanting to keep me on a monthly basis so whatever! I have been on auto pilot and cant seem to get out. Grounding work daily, minute by minute i just dont have the energy to do. Not sure where or what to do since i am so stuck. Its like i dont care if i live or die. No interest in work as i quit and helping my kids yes i want to but i am just not there, it sucks but i try and feel inadequate. I know its a whole mind thing but i just cant get my damn self on board no matter how much you tell me over the past 7 years!! It seems you are not the type anymore to hold my hand and guide me, but show me and have me do it myself. As i have said i am not sure what i am doing. I miss the therapist that would try to sit and read a book togehter it was so soon in our therapy but might want to do that again. I have tried but over the years you said you no longer will do that. So i will not ask for that kind of guidance. I feel your abandoning me. It hurts so much. I would never share all this. Maybe coming out telling you how i felt in the past was a huge mistake. This gives me no faith in therpists, to healing, to ever getting over or dealing with dissociation or to tolerating feelings and people.do you hear me, i hate people and feelings and your the last one i plan to deal with !!!!!????? Adult mind is gone....auto pilot is here. Therapy might just be over.