3 hours by now. But at least I decided it really is just "dysphoria". This feeling. That means really just a really unpleasant feeling but it's also a complex feeling. This article is good What Is Dysphoria?



This pdf also is nice though hard to read but explains more on how it's not depression: https://www.ranzcp.org/RANZCP/media/...-Starcevic.pdf

I liked it where it mentioned gender dysphoria, I don't have that but I TOTALLY imagine the feeling this way. Like you can't exist in your own skin in this world

I also especially liked the PTSD variant of dysphoria as described in there. I've definitely had trauma (PTSD/cPTSD). And it definitely started right around the trauma stuff also starting up. 3 years ago.

Ugh

Thanks for all the posts & the chat once. It helped me think and talk it out.