I think the best thing I can tell you, Alive, is that I understand. Humans need each other for support. They don't do well if they are alone. I feel the same things you wrote about, although I think I feel them less than you do. When I get to that bad place in my head, I do three things - go outside, get some exercise, and talk to someone. Usually that works for me. Or at least it helps a bit.
Revue and I can't solve all your problems, but we could be a part of the solution. If you post here, we will answer and encourage you.
According to your bio, you are from Hungary. If Hungarians are like Russians (that's my heritage) your parents love you but they don't understand. They can give you a little support, but not everything that you need. My parents would tell me to "just pull myself up and get over it." They wouldn't understand.
Friends - both Internet friends and in-person friends can give you a little help, but no one person can give you everything you need. You need several friends. If you ask too much of one person, that person will not want to help you anymore.
In the United States, COVID is bad, and I can't visit with friends because of it. So I'm always challenged to find ways to stay out of the bad places in my head. I talk to people on the phone, I talk to my neighbors, - but from 6 feet away. I go for walks, and I work in my garden. I talk to my Internet friends. Every little bit helps. No one thing magically fixes everything and turns my life around, but every time I do something - take one step - I'm glad I did it.
Writing, music, drawing are also things I do to feel better.
You said you want to get up, dress up and do some part-time job. That doesn't just happen all at once. You take small steps. First step is to get up and get dressed. Then you take a step or two each day. Look for job postings. I don't know how you find jobs in Hungary. Maybe that's the first step - find out where to look for jobs. Learn how to look for jobs. Then learn what to do next. Maybe you write your CV or write an email, or make a phone call, or answer a "Help Wanted" ad. And know that each step is a victory. You did something. You exist. If you emailed a company, and they said, "No thank you," you did something. Be happy about it. This can be hard. A friend of mine has spent over a year working hard to find a job. She got one and then lost it because of health issues. So she kept looking. The same thing happened again, and she kept looking.
This is what I think, but I don't know you. If what I say doesn't help at all, ignore it. If something I wrote helps you, I'm happy.