I hear ya Wounded. I'm really sorry - I can relate to your situation on so many levels. I don't know if my husband is 'selfish' per se, but he rarely steps up to meet his responsibilities - it's partly a combination of him relying on me to be my independent self, and partly because our priorities are extremely different. My husband does like to mow the lawn, but the weeds in your yard being waist-high might be extremely important to you but your husband might not see it that way.

I'm sorry you're not comfortable hiring help for a few weeks - although we are strapped for money right now, I hired a gardener to do some weeding and increased the cleaning lady visits to weekly because (especially after 34 weeks pregnant). My husband wasn't doing it, I just kept exhausting myself trying to fit it all in, and I was sure that it wasn't good for the baby for me to be stressed out about it. For me, coughing up the money was well worth it, and it actually took a lot of tension out of our relationship for the past few weeks because I wasn't as resentful and my husband wasn't feeling pressured and guilty. We both started being a lot nicer and more nurturing to each other.

I agree with BrnEyedGirl that you can only put so much of the blame onto his parents. My dad was extremely selfish but neither my brother nor I are.

So yeah - hire help & require counseling - those are the only two things I can think of, or rather, the only two things that I have done that have worked for me in almost the same situation.

Good luck..