Chaotic, I feel the same way about my file! For that reason I won't let my T keep any art, etc. I do in sessions; I never write anything down. It feels safer that way--less like he can exploit or hurt me.

I have often wondered if T really means the kind things he says, and when I ask, he says it's his job to help me, but it's not his job to care--he does that voluntarily. He's also said, how could he not care after working with me for so long? Still, I doubt. And when I do feel particularly connected, I don't usually say so, because it feels so risky. Perhaps someday I will be able to.