Hi Everyone,

I was with my husband for 14 years, married for 2. We had been together since we were 14 years old. Last year our relationship began to shift after we bought our second house. We hosted both our families for Thanksgiving. I was so lost and confused when the shift happened. He was staying out late, barely looking at me/talking to me.

Last December was rough, I was alone 90% of the time. He was out t drinking with friends until late (3/4am on week days), wouldn't tell me where he was or when he'd be home. And when he was present he wasn't really present (always on his phone). He kept blaming the shift on work, when he got his new job things would be better. Well he got the new job and things didn't change. I tried to talk to him and he wasn't interested. He has never been good at sharing his feelings so this wasn't surprising to me. The week of Christmas last year I had enough of being pushed to the side. He finally shared that he was unhappy and needed time to think. He was waiting to discuss until after the holidays which is why he didn't say anything. He said after 2 weeks we could talk. I agreed, to the two weeks. His behavior continued and I felt disrespected so I informed him I supported his need to have time (the two weeks) but that I needed to leave because I wasn't being treated properly. That I was leaving with the dog and going where I was wanted, loved and supported. This was the hardest thing I had ever done at the time. Leave my home and my best friend.

After the two weeks, we spoke. I thought it was going to be a conversation but I quickly found out he had already made his decision. He told me, he had been unhappy for years. I asked him why and he couldn't provide me with an answer. The one thing he told me was that I held him back from drinking and partying. I had supported him in his career, buying two homes (1st house was all my money) getting married, dealing with the toxic patterns in his family etc. When I asked him, he couldn't think of one way I supported him in our relationship. He didn't want to work through whatever the issues we had (I still don't know other than the above).

I am doing well a year later and it was the best thing to happen to me. I have found myself, done things this year I never thought I'd do. Even in the pandemic, I've been able to grow. All this to say the one thing I lack is people in my life who understand what I've been through. None of my peers are married, let alone divorced. I am hoping to find connection with people who know what divorce is like and if possible young people who have been divorced.