You are NOT a failure, Please do Always remember that. i am So Sorry things are being so hard for You but do not give up as things can ALWAYS Improve. i am SURE that You can hadnle this. Perhaps seeing a therapist or professional may prove useful in Helping You Cope With ALL of this. SEnding Many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @Diurnal, Your Family, Your FriEnds And ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!