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Old Dec 12, 2020, 03:19 PM
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Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
Quote:
I don’t love my (alcoholic) dad, haven’t for a long time but I do struggle with my lack of desire to even try and be friends with him; I know that probably doesn’t help him but honestly, in some ways I think it’s a form of emotional self defence on my part.
@RoxanneToto what is important for you to consciously realize about this is that you don't have to love your father. We tend to think we have to love a parent and if we don't it's our fault somehow, but that's not true. A parent has to earn our love, and a parent's behaviors can be bad for us and it's ok to decide to emotionally distance ourselves and set personal boundaries.