Yes I think I’m still depressed but not as bad as the beginning of it when it first hit.

That could be a reason, but I also don’t want all of the long term side effects these drugs can cause. I didn’t like the short term side effects from abilify... and the other drugs they gave me for sleep like trazadone and syraquil and doxipine and Lunesta didn’t work.... so I think it’s also pointless. If I’m going to go through this depression, might as well do it without added drugs that don’t seem to work on me plus have to suffer damage to my internal organs. I already know what this lithium is going to do to me long term and it gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

In addition my mom has had bipolar for 20+ years and has managed it without medication. So I suppose I also feel like I have that hope I can do it too.... that I just need to get through this depression.