Sounds like you learned a hard lesson about what can happen when you build your life around another person. It leaves you vulnerable to not developing your own identity. As giving up your own identity to another person is unhealthy and often results in having poor boundaries.

Often the hurt to your identity leaves you more susceptible to getting involved with another problem person that love bombs you only to pull you into yet another unhealthy relationship.

It’s important to examine your own part that resulted in your being hurt. What I just said isn’t about victim blaming either. Just because someone else shows what feels like kindness doesn’t mean they are a person you can trust or that you owe them.

The same is true that if you choose to give of yourself to another it doesn’t mean that other person owes you. When you develop these beliefs you set yourself up for disappointments and hurts.