Hey everyone, does anyone else have difficulty recognizing what their triggers are? I know a few of mine, like when I have to have blood drawn and someone has to see my arms. That triggers me. But a lot of times I really don't know.

My T says its because it is subtle. It could be a look, or a tone of voice. Or an internal feeling that I am not aware of.


I think this is odd. I have self harmed for years, you would think I would know what my triggers are but most of the time I don't.


Today I actually did though. I was corresponding to a colleague through text. And I had said something and she was like, no it's not really like that. I was trying to be empathetic to her situation but I must have misread what was going on. And then I felt stupid. And then I wanted to self harm.


So today I actually figured one out. I didn't self harm, I just wanted to. It was just like I was emotionally and mentally beating myself up for not correctly reading the situation that I didn't have a lot of information on. Then when I realized I was doing that, I made myself stop. I was basing my response on the facts that I had. She gave me new facts. Then I could adjust my reply.


But I think when she said, "No it's not really like that" it kind of triggered like a being pushed away response in me. Like it felt like she was pushing me away. Or dismissing me. Or something. And then I got hurt. Then to stop being hurt I put myself down.


I was able to address the situation better then and the text conversation ended well. (Still feel a little stupid but mostly not.) Anyway, once in a while like today I can figure out my triggers but more often than not, I can't. Anyone else like me?

Thanks! Be safe all, Kit