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Originally Posted by delightful
I think the best thing I can tell you, Alive, is that I understand. Humans need each other for support. They don't do well if they are alone. I feel the same things you wrote about, although I think I feel them less than you do. When I get to that bad place in my head, I do three things - go outside, get some exercise, and talk to someone. Usually that works for me. Or at least it helps a bit.
Revue and I can't solve all your problems, but we could be a part of the solution. If you post here, we will answer and encourage you.
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Thanks for your kind words. I am not sure so far as to what I could post here for the thread but it would be nice if I could. Talking sometimes actually helps me too, when it's done at the right time or something. The other two don't help
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According to your bio, you are from Hungary. If Hungarians are like Russians (that's my heritage) your parents love you but they don't understand. They can give you a little support, but not everything that you need. My parents would tell me to "just pull myself up and get over it." They wouldn't understand. Friends - both Internet friends and in-person friends can give you a little help, but no one person can give you everything you need. You need several friends. If you ask too much of one person, that person will not want to help you anymore.
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I had "friends"...... they would always leave though when I had a hard situation, it happened twice that I had a hard situation like that and for the second one, I just had enough of that and didn't want to talk to them again because of that
And yes, my mother is like that. But that's totally OK. She doesn't actually say "get over it", but the rest fits. But yeah it's OK, I'm glad she cares and tries to help as much as she can.
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In the United States, COVID is bad, and I can't visit with friends because of it. So I'm always challenged to find ways to stay out of the bad places in my head. I talk to people on the phone, I talk to my neighbors, - but from 6 feet away. I go for walks, and I work in my garden. I talk to my Internet friends. Every little bit helps. No one thing magically fixes everything and turns my life around, but every time I do something - take one step - I'm glad I did it.
Writing, music, drawing are also things I do to feel better.
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I'm not looking for anyone to magically fix anything for me
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You said you want to get up, dress up and do some part-time job. That doesn't just happen all at once. You take small steps. First step is to get up and get dressed. Then you take a step or two each day. Look for job postings. I don't know how you find jobs in Hungary. Maybe that's the first step - find out where to look for jobs. Learn how to look for jobs. Then learn what to do next. Maybe you write your CV or write an email, or make a phone call, or answer a "Help Wanted" ad. And know that each step is a victory. You did something. You exist. If you emailed a company, and they said, "No thank you," you did something. Be happy about it. This can be hard. A friend of mine has spent over a year working hard to find a job. She got one and then lost it because of health issues. So she kept looking. The same thing happened again, and she kept looking.
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I already have remote work. My issue is not that. But as I described it already, I won't repeat myself. I don't want to be too much of a bother either with repeating myself
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This is what I think, but I don't know you. If what I say doesn't help at all, ignore it. If something I wrote helps you, I'm happy.
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Some of it helped!
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I don't want to add a new post for this, responding to your other one too
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Originally Posted by delightful
The Zoom meeting I mentioned was cancelled, and all the other items on my list were accomplished. (Except for a few cards.) A big deal for me since I was slipping into that state of thinking about what I want to do and actually doing nothing. A
A friend emailed me this quote:
It was about a Native American youth who was just entering into puberty. Being male the rush of testosterone, the weirdest drug of all, he went to his grandfather and explained that there were two wolves fighting within him. One was vicious, cruel, manipulative, without a sense of right or wrong, and was a liar and a coward when confronted. The other considered others, tried to make peace and avoid conflict and would only fight when cornered. The grandson complained that they were at war constantly. “Who do you think will win grandpa?” The old man patted his head and replied: “It will be the one that you feed.”
I think this quote works for all habits. The side that wins is the one you feed.
I'm going to change the quote just a bit. The first wolf is lazy, dreams about all the great things he/she will accomplish but not just now. Maybe after the sitcom is over and he/she has played just one more game of solitaire, etc., and then depression sets in and more TV, etc. The second wolf knows what he/she wants to get done, and sets about doing it. For me, the measly steps feed the active wolf. The thing to realize is that the wolf needs to be fed every day, not just once.
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Ah cool story. I heard about the wolves before in the form of evil vs nice wolf... My bad wolf seems like my feeling bad about everything, about myself (subconsciously because I avoid it really hard), good wolf is the one that has vitality and positive energy instead and ...well I don't know how good wolf heals the injuries but that too.