Gosh sky, why can't I even remember those favourite things as a child? Where did my childhood go? You're right, I am *trying*, I'm *trying* with everything I've got. I don't know how to *allow* the information to go into my brain. God, I feel so hopeless. I feel like I've lost my childhood. What's wrong with me, what's wrong with my f'ng brain??? Why am I finding this all so hard? I'll never be able to put this all behind me and God, this is only one aspect of that trauma. I have more that I'm dealing with too. Memories. I thought I knew what they were all these years but they've failed me. I can't trust them. I don't know how to deal with all of this. I want to get past all this, I really do, I just don't know how to *allow* and I don't know how to let it go. Letting go is very hard for me. Why can't I get my brain to do what I want it to do???