Hm, yes Conquistador, thank you. But you might as well be speaking Chinese; I know you're speaking a language I could understand if I had the training. I think it will take some time for those words to make sense in a real way to me - it's just an intellectual understanding I have of this at the moment, sort of.
To 'only you can make you happy' one could easily reply with 'no man is island'. See?

Anyway, a general question to whoever is listening (reading): what about this - I have been thinking that since seeing my husband every few days is kind of painful and frustrating and confusing,to me at any rate, perhaps I should give myself a break and declare a period of not seeing each other. A friend asked me recently if I really thought that he had 'left' just because he's moved out. I answered 'of course', and she said that we hadn't even begun the process of leaving each other to possibly work things out and possibly come back together.

It was an interesting perspective on things.

Keeping in touch is weird in this situation, because he doesn't seem to have moved on much with regard to the relationship issue in the weeks since he's left. I thought I had, but perhaps not. Perhaps we are just continuing the 'tangle' at a bit of a distance and not giving each other and ourselves enough room to really recover. From all the fighting and misunderstandings.

And Perna was so right in saying that maybe I should concentrate more on myself instead of speculating about what my husband is up to all the time. This is definately keeping me in some strange mesmerized zone.

So my question is this, or my questionS ARE this:
1) Should I announce this as my decision and explain, briefly, that I need some time for myself now.
2) Should I decide on a period of time? Should I announce that? (Just a note, when he moved out he could only say that he 'needed to be by himself for a while' - that was as much information as I could get from him) I guess I'm wondering if I should be as vague, both because I don't know how much time I need and how much I can actually take without missing him so much that I'll go mad.

I'm scared we'll lose each other. Lose touch, even about the incidental things we share with each other now. I'm also angry that he doesn't seem to want to know any details about my mental state, not really, so I'm already not 'burdening' him with this. Isn't it natural to feel there's something one-sided in this relationship in which he wants to be light with each other and talk about 'normal stuff' instead of anything heavy, yet I am told of his moods and so on.Of course, it would be an even worse sign if he didn't want to tell me anything about his moods and all the rest of it.

Either way, I seem to be too caught up in what's happening for him and am so used to putting myself second, or in a superior position of being the one to provide the comfort, (depending on how you want to look at it), that I think the only way to focus on myself is to not see him.

It's a risk, of course, but he's taken the much bigger one in moving house, so why should I worry so much about doing something similar.

Any advice?