Hi, I am LA and I discovered this account when going through our phone recently. Clearly, we haven’t posted much, but I don’t know a better place to go for support right now.

Our host is struggling a lot lately and won’t reach out to anyone for help. She knows we ought to find a new therapist, but the last therapist she spoke to seemed to waive off things like disassociation as a medical rather than mental issue. Obviously not the right therapist, but she won’t try again.

We have a close friend who is aware of our system, but she refuses to talk to him about things. She is in hard denial and barely acknowledges the rest of us.

I front more than the others in the system and I try to alleviate the host’s stress when I take over, but I also know it terrifies her to lose control. She is so afraid that she will disappear and never resurface. I try to be sneaky about it and not to do anything extreme liking reaching out to friend or finding a therapist because I worry it will set her off in a worse way.

She often says she feels like she is stuck, but she really has no idea that the rest of the system is feeling stuck and barred as well.

~ LA