yes chaotic.. exactly that.. afraid to show vulnerability and afraid to make that assumption... openly to him i mean... do i believe he does care though? yes.. i can't deny the evidence of it any more.

check back here... and before on another site i frequented.. i could not in any way comprehend how a T could care.. i called it rent-a-care. i saw it as some diminished, half assed caring that was tied to money. i feel awful about that now. i have come to know one of the most caring and genuine human beings i could hope to know. He cares about me and has gone above and beyond to show it. There is no way he could pour this much of himself into every client.. i believe he tries to give what is required to heal maybe... i needed someone to care in a substantial way and he has certainly done that.