I saw an interview on YouTube of David Richo, a Buddhist author and relationship psychologist. He said he expresses upset and pain in the moment. And lets go of the need for vengeance afterward (sometimes, our need for closure, mixes with a need to "get back at" the person, imo). He said he's happier bc of it.

Imo, the story if what the person did to us, doesn't always stop in our heads, just bc we give up our pursuit of closure or vengeance. So thought work is important. If we need to write a restorative justice letter, do that. If not, work on yourself and don't let those people in. Mickey Cheeky's advice was really good.

I don't believe forgiveness is necessary. But with certain healing actions, it (forgiveness) may be an after effect. Of course, if you want to forgive, know that its not a linear process. Some days are better than others.