Liz, im sorry, you deserve better than this

I think i have often felt like your friend, afraid to be assertive, and end up being passive-aggressive and hurting people because i did not take responsibility.

It sounds to me like she is trying to not take responsibility for the plans for this holiday. Like she also feels backed into a corner? She didnt know how to handle the competing, simultaneous requests (and then dropped requests) for her company, and maybe her neighbor lumped you in with her brother and ran with that. KWIM?

Obviously she should have talked to you first before making plans with the neighbor. Heck, even i know how you usually spend xmas, and i dont even know you.

But this is the kind of thing that sends me scurrying back to my hidey-hole, because i would be trying to keep one person on the line and maybe being bullied by a new person? That is, before i became the lovely assertive being i am today, thanks to the good example of many friends at PC.