I'm surprised and delighted to hear from you Cheshire, surprised only because I envisioned your current state of disrepair as sufficient to keep you off the radar screen for some time to come, and delighted, because, well, you're so damn delightful.

Yes, indeed the manic fuels my creativity. I wonder if I would have any creativity absent that cyclic surge of brilliance. The exchange rate on manic units to creative units for me is not constant, however and as the mania increases, bizarreness and outright delusion can seem to diminish my return on the exchange. That last sentence is a perfect example, aargh. So hard to make a simple straightforward statement.

Before I was dx'd, this was the state I lived for. I accepted it without question as my divine birthright from which I had been inexplicably estranged for too long. I would soon erase all vestiges of my life that didn't match, and, as above, race for that brilliant horizon. But all in all, yes, I find that the creative is what is best suited to this high. Creating new expression and connecting the dots to the multitude of mysteries are where the energy wants to crackle alright.

Music has become my main art form in recent years, so I have my instruments out, and handy, writing projects spread out on the table, computer on, as many things as I can, out in the open. That way I can flit from one to the other and back as often as needed. I notice that while reading is something I love, and as insatiable as my appetite is for it, I'm a better reader when I'm depressed than when I'm this high. Maybe it's just too sedentary. But when I do read this high, lol, it's like reading what the author wrote, and what he/she was "thinking" at the time. Overpowering sense of insight.

I really have to apologize for the disjointed nature of my post here. I feel it slipping around on me, but I know that my inner editor has flown the coup for the time being, so I'll just have to live with it.

You mention Icharus, another with whom I identify so well. I love that painting called, The Fall Of Icharus, at least I think that's what it's called. His terrible fall from such a daring feat, and utterly unnoticed by the world. Sigh. I love beauty. And irony in particular.

As for firing the afterburners in this state, that idea is at the heart of my "practice," if you please, of living with this "disorder." This is the first huge manic swing I've had since my dx. During my shallower cycles in the interim, I have seen that the more I feed the high, the low derives a similar nourishment and follows with a vengeance magnified to the extent that I magnified the manic.

Something I puzzle over too is the idea that bipolar is a "progressive" disorder. I wonder if my manic highs progress to include aspects previously unknown, or if that sensation comes more from observing them with the knowledge of the dx. Either way, I have to admit, it's not as nice as I remember it. Could just be the fear of ruining everything one more time. I'm trying so hard to just stay here.

Btw, I'm a "mate" lol. Sure appreciate the cross geder observation you made though, what a nice thing to be told. Thank you. There are a couple pics of me and my two cats in the pic forums if you feel like adding a little visual discomfort to your host of currently debilitating conditions. LOL

Before I go, confession: I feel giddy with delight to be in conversation with you. Your compliments like no others, make me scuff at the floor and say, "aw shucks" while my heart soars. Thank you.

PS, we share a common inspiration in Bob Dylan.