To me, it sounds like there's a lot of concerns you have about your bf and relationship that has nothing to do with your gender identity. As you've said, if you leave this relationship, you'll surely be "all alone" in it.. and fear is what's keeping you in it.

I agree, I'm not sure if you're both able to support each other.

Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from our situation and see things as an outsider. In this situation, it would mean to separate from your bf - go no contact - even for a month, and tap into supportive resources in your area. Allow yourself to be afraid and raw and do this for yourself.

Then, once you meet up in a month, you'll likely have more clarity in what you're wanting for yourself, in terms of this relationship. Everything else may fall into place.

Just my hunch.