You are compassionate, not sneaky. You are protecting your life source and you care about keeping your host happy and safe. That is commendable and obviously what gave birth to the system at first, the need to protect. Go on and do what you have been made to do. Protect, reach out. I can be here for you. Your host may not be “pleased” with your looking for help right now, but it is your nature, which can’t be denied. I wish you peace tonight. I myself am sleepless and growing melancholy. Nonetheless I’m here.