Several of you mentioned she might be depressed. I've suspected that for awhile. I gently suggested she see someone about it. She hates doctors so won't see a pdoc. Therapy? According to her it's BS. That one stung given what I do for a living. It's hard to see someone I care for in treatable pain, but I can't force her to get help.
I don't think she felt caught between me and the neighbor. The neighbor asked if she had plans for Christmas and she said "no." She could have said I was coming up. Add to that I suggested we invite the neighbor for dinner when I said I'd fix dinner.
I'm still deciding about confronting her about the whole thing. Confronting her does not go well. We have very different approaches to this sort of thing. I prefer to be open with the person, confront the situation, come up with a solution and move on. She denies there is a problem while collecting grievances. Nothing gets addressed or resolved.
I normally text her every day or two and we talk by phone a couple of times a week. I decided not to text or call for a bit. I wondered if I was being passive aggressive. I don't think I am. I feel like I'm hurting and need some time and space to heal.
Thanks to everyone for your replies.
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