The truth is:

I wanted my long awaited vacation. I made a conscious decision that I could not deal with a breakup back then - I could not face at the time another failed engagement and another massive let down on the heels of another broken engagement. I could not face the shame of the social buzz that would ensue - the shame of saying how ridiculously happy we were, and then having to suddenly break it off just days before the wedding. I could not face it back then.. I was not strong enough to handle it, so I pushed forward with the marriage.