So far, none of the meds helped with my issue, except to help me recover a little more quickly from the depths of the sadness and the duration of the bad emotions (anger, sadness). I am more able to distract myself and do something else, which eventually brings my emotions back to normal. It’s not that I feel any better, I am just able to act normal once again vs having a meltdown anxiety, crying fit.

My husband’s response to how the meds don’t stop the issue of how he doesn’t connect with me is to tell me to increase the meds. I’m scared to do that to my body and doubt they will cause me to not care anymore about the triggers, not react negatively, go along like a zombie, change my entire personality, succumb to the callous treatment of those few people and have calmly not reacted and then no friction would ever have happened.

I wish I could have gone along and never adversely reacted, but I couldn’t. Can any amount of meds have helped with that? Because that’s the issue here.

My husband is still the major trigger and the person I deal with on a daily basis.
My mother is handled well now, being kept at just the right distance.
My son was a falling out that he perpetrated totally unprompted by anything I did, and I handled it as gently as I could, including being the one to reach out and try to draw him back. He totally turned abruptly 180 to me. I did not see it coming.
My sister was another falling out that turned abruptly on a dime as well, and over virtually nothing. Her callousness was shocking. I just reread the texts and am just stunned.