There was also a lifelong on/off bff who HAD to go. The way the 40 year friendship ended was she tried to crash through my boundaries. I wasn’t allowed to have boundaries. What’s a boundary? When I said “I do not want to have this conversation with you. I’m driving. Stop calling me.” She blew up in a text fit. I didn’t respond. She continued the harassment. I didn’t even read anything she wrote. When she’ blow up like that, she’d be really vicious, so why read that venom? Anyway, she never called again, never apologized, we haven’t spoken in two years.

So...mother is all my life some strain, emotional, verbal, son and sister were ‘ideal’ relationships until fallings out, both at the same time, over the past two years.

Two years has some meaning then, or it’s just random. I thought a lot about that and think one did have something to do with the other, though logically it seems they are unrelated. I’ve searched my mind for what i could have possibly done to have warranted that from them.

Anyway— when you tell a therapist you have issues with close interpersonal relationships, they think personality disorder traits.

I am attracted and/or surrounded by a certain cast of characters. I am drawn to them because I am used to them. I take responsibility from whatever dysfunctional way I contribute to the problem.

Now I just walk away. I don’t want to argue. I think this path is best. I want to find peace.