Hello JadeSim: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. We here on PC cannot offer mental health diagnoses. Plus I'm not a mental health professional. So anything I might suggest in the way of what may be going on with you would be simply a guess... as likely to be wrong as correct... maybe more likely. (Perhaps other PC members will have some insights they'll wish to share.)

I think the thing to do would be to make arrangements to talk through all of this at-length & in-depth with a mental health therapist. That's the way to really get to the bottom of what has been, as well as what continues, to be going on. I noticed, though, this is your first post here on PC. So I did want to at least welcome you to Psych Central. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

P.S. You mentioned the older you get the less you want to be around people. I myself am in my early 70's and I feel similarly. So I can relate to that part of what you're experiencing.