Quote:
Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy
I can relate to this. I journal and I find there's a time and place for it because sometimes I do get stuck wallowing. For me, I'm experimenting to see how not to wallow while journaling, and so far that means being mindful and noticing when getting stuck / wallowing happens, and also I'm playing with the idea of writing to another person in my journal, as it helps me when I talk to others usually.
I think that what works for some, doesn't work for others. Do it if you want to and feel drawn to it / driven to.
Edit: one journaling exercise you may like. Its a T-chart. On one side put "negative" or draw a rain cloud or something. On the other side, put "positive" or draw some sunshine or a rainbow or something. Under negative, write whats going on with you and why you feel bad. Under positive, counter those thoughts, write other explanations, other positive ways to looks at it, ways to deal with it, be kind to yourself as you would be with a friend. Its a good exercise in thinking more optimistically and making oneself feel better.
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Oh wow this makes so much sense, my journalling I probably always did in an abysmal way lol. I don't wallow - in the classic sense - as that'd be really tiring to me but I noticed one day that alot of the journalling is venting or something like that, some really angry stuff. Tho' I suppose that's better than venting to people too much.
But what I particularly noticed, though only after YEARS of journalling, and only recently...is that if I get into the writing more to try and process things, then after a while I do get deeper and deeper and probably more angry and negative but it happens only when it feels like I am talking to a "wall" rather than a real person. Well my journal is not a real person. So that is why it gets so negative then.
And I noticed this when I did talk to a real person (online) and she was pretty cool, like she kept tuning into my experience and validating it or something Like most people don't O_o Anyway then one day she didn't tune in too well, for whatever reason, and said something that was kinda an "off" suggestion. I don't mind, I don't expect anyone to be perfectly tuning in or validating me or whatever 100% of the time. But what I did notice was that later I felt like journalling to process what she said, to see how it fit my situation because something was bothering me about it. And then I ended up writing to her actually instead of the journalling, but she was not online... And so, soon I noticed I felt like it was talking to a wall and then I noticed the negative spiralling. That is when the lightbulb came on about my journalling too, I suppose. ....
But I still did end up processing the "off" suggestion she had and it did lead to insight. Insight through seeing how it did NOT fit me/my situation, lol. (Even if this is not the most effective way to get to insight??) And that's the same with the journalling. It does lead to me processing things and to insights, it just takes so long. I get so deep in my head during it. While trying to process my issues and get to insights for a better place, better direction in life. So ineffective because of the "wall" effect, I think.
Does this make sense??
You suggest journalling while imagining I'm talking to another person. Unfortunately that only works for a short time, I have done that before spontaneously actually... Like I would get used to talking to a friend and then I sometimes felt like I was talking to them when journalling. But if I get spontaneous like that, it doesn't last long before "wall" effect kicks in. Also if the person I got used to talking to isn't very good at tuning in (bc say, they didn't have my experiences, or just don't understand, even if well-meaning), then it can be still a negative spiral anyway. I think that's what it comes down to...
Your T-chart exercise suggestion hmm... My problem is I don't really have simple thoughts on why I feel bad when I feel bad, and I don't even feel that I am feeling bad if that makes sense. I just fall deep in my head and try to process to get to a better place is what I do instead. You mention writing about what's going on with me, well I don't even know what's going on with me when something's up, that is why I have to process it in my journalling.
Your suggestion sounds a lot like CBT really, how psychologists do CBT with you in therapy, and I'm familiar with that, but that also never worked for me lol for the same reason.
My processing really has a constructive goal so you could say it's optimistic but it's ineffective anyway, because it's hard to do all of it alone Iguess
I've understood a little more on how talking to others can help, but that's still kinda unclear too to me lol.
I figured so far, it helps if they can understand some of what I'm saying bc they have had the experience too, or they are an expert about the topic (but do keep their empathy too next to the expertise, don't just intellectualise always). Or just plain are very empathetic maybe? Or if it is someone I am close to (family), that can help too even if they haven't had my experiences. But I do think I still have a lot of blocks even when I talk to others. It's just hard somehow.
Not sure, sometimes the experience of talking with others is better, sometimes worse, sometimes pretty effective, sometimes not effective. I don't expect it to be a magic pill (anymore) so any positive experience with that is already a nice surprise lol
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(BTW I like this thread some, though I didn't read it all yet... catapults me back to 19 years ago. When I had this disconnect and when all my bigger issues started. I will have to sometime digest some of the posts in here more.)