Hello Kiya,

Why is your T hell-bent on full integration? I personally feel that it's not a one-size-fits-all thing. Everyones system is different and the therapy needs to be able to suit you.

I do think that you will need to do the trauma work though and if you know that this is coming up of course that's going to be scary. T will need to help you to prepare for this and give you additional coping strats. It is easy to go into the black thinking and think of all the worst case scenarios if things go wrong. But maybe that won't happen. Maybe you are stronger now?

You know your system better than anyone, I hope things get better for you soon.