Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Yeah it does fit. Just few things seemed different to me
Men I’ve met who were narcissistic wouldn’t ever allow a woman to pay for anything (up to the extreme) because that hurts their inflated ego and that means they don’t have all the power. If they always pay they have all the power and their ego is elevated over weak dependent women
In fact it was always one of the red flags for me if a man isn’t willing to let women pay for anything, not even fair share or occasional. Their ego is too inflated for that.
It always felt like your husband willing to use women financially is not a typical sign of a narcissist. But of course it could be, just a different variation
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He COULDN'T pay for anything unless he earned his bonus. He was unable to - therefore he was dependent on me and every other woman financially. Remember that he went BANKRUPT as well. And he works on COMMISSION ONLY. He does not earn a steady paycheck and he's completely irresponsible with money. He DID, however, pay as much as he could when he did have money around. He treated me fairly often.
And I'd rather not argue this point of whether he is or is not a narcissist. It's not relevant to my question. I know he is a narcissist and that I dealt with narcissistic abuse - perhaps it does match your model, but it matches everything I've read and my therapist even confirms it.