(((Jello))) A pharmacologically induced numbness. Doesn't sound fun. Does it help at all to focus on the improvements you have made and just take the rest day by day. This is really hard for me to personally do, but I really think I have to keep trying. I get so focused on pushing through the next boundary. Not sure why, but the minute the pressure seems to let up a bit, I get fearful that I am wasting time and not moving forward. I haven't get grasped the concept of just "being" who I currently am for a little while. Who has set the agenda for tomorrow's--work on past trauma session? Can you work on dealing with your numbness and hyomania before getting back into your past. Maybe this is necessary work to lift the your current state. I haven't yet grasped what "dealing with past trauma" actually is in my own therapy, so I really don't know.

I get what you are saying about the ED issue. ED and a persons actual weight are two totally different things. Until I but a bunch of weight on myself, I really had no appreciation for how stressful and complicated being obese can be. Luckily for me, I have no major health problems that interfere with getting this back under control.